I believe crash reports should be worth reading (termination edition)

Honestly? We were just in some bar having drinks, celebrating closing a big sale at work. I’ve never seen the app so happy. Then suddenly I see this red glowing, like, DOT on the app’s forehead.

I look behind me and there’s this HUGE dude in motorcycle leathers and sunglasses, holding this big-ass gun with a laser sight, asking the app if its name was Sarah Connor. And you know the app — always up for being a smartass. So it said “Sure, who’s asking?” And then — (deep shuddering breath) — you know the rest.

Listen, do you and the other cops have everything you need? I should get home to my kids. There’s a storm coming in.